Mother’s Day Reflection 2022

Wrote this on Mother’s Day, 2022

There is one universal source for comfort. . .Mom. My sweet, 10-year-old dog, Duke hates thunder. He will cower in the innermost corner of the house at the first distant rumble. But this morning, as the sky exploded, he came to me from his dark corner in a rarely used guest bedroom and nestled between the couch, where I sat journaling, and my dangling legs. As he panted heavily, I rubbed behind his ears and the top of his head, while offering little assurances in a soft, gentle voice. Gradually, the panting lessened, and he laid his head at my feet. I covered him with the down feather pillows from my couch, creating a cozy safe shelter. Then a thought hit me like a bolt of lightning penetrated the house. . . I pray I was as a good a mother to my own four children as I am to this dog.

I will always second guess this, even though I have good relationships with them as adults. . .adults who are good, loving, kind people, making their way in this world, with all its bumps, with tremendous courage and grace. Good people, that they are. But I still pray to the Mother of all creation and ask forgiveness for the times my actions were hurtful to these four special beings entrusted to my care. I know I did my best, I just wish I’d done better.

I try to forgive myself for my mothering missteps, as I know my children have long ago. They each love me very much, there is no doubt about that. And none wants me to feel bad about myself for anything related to them. So, I try to make amends by amending how I now mother, creating a shift from “all-knowing parent” to something else. They are adults, they don’t need to be “mothered” anymore. They need love, support, encouragement, compassion, empathy and acceptance. . . a soft, trusted place like the cozy down feather nest, where they can be, or try to figure out how to be, the person they were created to be.

I did not create these four precious wonders, but it was through me they entered this world. They may no longer need to be mothered but like each of us, they need someone to be Mom. I can do that. Happy Mom’s Day.