June 2020

July 1, 2020. . .goodbye, June. Where did you go? My favorite month of the year sprinted by. I have always loved the month of June, with its many celebrations, graduations, the beginning of summer and birthdays, lots of birthdays! I am one of six children and between June 16 and June 26, four of us celebrate birthdays. Mine is June 20, this year I turned 60. . .60?. . .60? . . . How did this happen? Where did the time go?

I am completely ok with turning 60, though I still feel a little incredulous about it. Not that I didn’t know it was coming, LOL, but I don’t feel like I could have possibly circled the sun that many time. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. . .I’m still so uncertain about how to handle certain people and problems. . . .I lack the wisdom I’d hope would have come by now. . . I am just beginning to really understand my faith in God and cultivate a meaningful relationship, beyond the catechism of my childhood.

I set an intention at the beginning of June, when the country was reeling with violence, anger, suffering and sorrow. Inspired by voices of hope, I wrote this intention in my journal: I will use my voice. Speak my truth. Stand for my own ideas, my own beliefs, with dignity, integrity and grace.

I reset this intention for July, August, September and beyond. It is not as easy as writing down the pretty words. To use my voice, speak my truth, I need to figure out who I am and what I stand for. Sometimes, I feel as though I have raced through life, without taking the time to absorb and reflect on what is going on around and within. Maybe the 60th birthday gift is time and space and breath, to slow down and take in. To pray and meditate on what’s really important. To break out of my safe little bubble and educate myself on many topics, from race, religion, economics and the environment.

And then I must muster the courage to say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, regardless of what others might think. All while being true to me, my way. I am inspired by the willow tree in the corner of my yard. It moves gently with the wind. It sways back and forth and back again. Its branches are long, reaching and embracing. It whispers it message. Listen, listen.